Sexting and image-based abuse: What can I do?

Check your State or Territory’s legislation on sextingand image-based abuse, as well as your organisation’s relevant policies and position, before talking to young people about these issues.

Use terms such as ‘nudes’ or ‘pics’ in place of ‘sexting’ when speaking directly with young people. This is the language young people typically use and are more likely to engage with.

Advising young people to ‘never sext’ does not fit with the reality of young people’s lives – 52 percent of young people aged 16 to 19 years report voluntarily sending a sexual image of themselves at least once. ¹

When it comes to sexting, we need to focus on supporting young people to engage with each other safely and respectfully, just as we do with face-to-face intimate and sexual relationships.

When working with young people, avoid relying on extreme case-studies of ‘sexting gone horribly wrong’ to make a one-sided case for abstaining from sexting. Young people are much more likely to respond to an approach that helps them to determine when sexting is okay or not okay based on their personal values.

It is critical to support young people to understand the difference between the private and consensual sharing of images and image-based abuse. For more on this, see What’s the difference between sexting and image-based abuse?

When addressing image-based abuse, focus on:

• defining what image-based abuse looks like in practice for young people. For example, identifying that it could be screen-shotting a Snapchat nude to share with others
• placing the responsibility for image-based abuse on the perpetrator by clearly identifying that it’s everyone’s responsibility to never non-consensually share sexually explicit messages, images and videos, or coerce others into creating or sending these
• critiquing common responses to image-based abuse to identify the assumptions about gender stereotypes and roles – for example, that young women who experience image-based abuse “shouldn’t have taken a naked image in the first-place”
• referring young people to the legislation in your State or Territory. Please see Youth Law Australia.
• advising young people who experience image-based abuse, or are supporting a friend, to check the Office of the eSafety Commissioner for support and how to report.

It’s important to enable young people to identify what safe and respectful sexting looks like.

Focus on supporting young people to identify for themselves what’s s okay and not okay. Direct young people to these articles on The Line:

• “Check out this nude I got…”
• Dealing with online abuse

Consider using the questions below as prompts for discussion. Some useful answers are also included.

• How do you know if someone wants to receive a nude? How can you check?
  • Check that someone wants to receive a sext before sending one – sending spontaneous, unsolicited nudes is not okay. Be sure to ‘suss’ the mood first.
  • You also need to check the laws in your State or Territory. Like all sexual practices, there is legislation around legal ages and consent – and this differs around Australia.
• What does pressure to sext look like? In what ways might someone show they’re not keen?
  • Repeated requests when they’ve ignored you previously, avoided the request or said they don’t want to.
  • Trying to persuade or guilt-trip someone. For example, “If you really loved me, you’d send one” or, “Everyone else is doing it…”.
  • Threatening someone. For example, “I’ll break up with you if you don’t send one” or, “I’ll show everyone the texts you sent if you don’t send a pic”.

• If you experience pressure to send a nude, what can you do?
  • Pressure to send a nude is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. People in respectful relationships do not pressure or threaten someone who says ‘no’ to sending them a nude.
  • Talk with someone trusted about how you are feeling.
  • Seek support from 1800RESPECT, Kids Helpline or the eSafety Commission.

• What should you do with sexts you receive? Is it okay to keep a nude from an ex?
  • Regularly delete sensitive messages you’ve sent or received – and let people know when you have (to ease their mind). Don’t forget to empty your recently deleted and trash folders!
  • Do not screenshot nudes you receive.
  • Delete all sexts someone sent you if they ask you to.
  • Never show anyone else sexts you receive.
  • Be aware of the legal consequences associated with sexting and image-based abuse.

• Is it ever okay to show someone else a nude that you’ve received?
  • No, it is never okay to show anyone else a sext you receive, unless you are reporting an incident to the police, or another relevant authority..
  • You have to keep the other person’s privacy and trust.
  • Would you want your nudes being passed around?

It’s important for young people to understand the ways sexting can perpetuate limiting gender stereotypes and roles, and disrespect towards women. See Sexting and gender inequality for more information.

Encourage young people to reflect on the different ‘rules’ for young men and young women and identify when and how these rules are expressed.

Ask questions like:

• How are young women who send nudes viewed and described? How is this different to the way that young men who send nudes are treated?
• Who is usually held responsible when a nude is (non-consensually) shared?
• Is it reasonable or fair that the person who took a nude is usually held responsible?
• Why is it seen as ‘normal’ and ‘expected’ that young men will ask for nude pics?

It’s important to integrate the issues of sexting and image-based abuse into the wider work you’re doing on sex and relationships. For example, a session on consent can include an example about image-based abuse.

Integrating content, rather than dealing with it separately, can be a good way to show young people that you understand that sexting is a sex/relationship practice in their lives and that the same ‘rules’ around consent apply.