Jealousy is a pretty typical feeling. But is it ever ok in a relationship? That's what somebody asked us.
They sent it in when we asked for questions on TikTok and Instagram.
Their question was: is jealousy ever healthy in a relationship?
We wanted to get a range of answers so we asked our online followers for their advice.
Your Questions
- Nikki: I don’t think it’s healthy but I do think it’s normal and natural. What’s healthy is talking and working through it.
- Kitty: I think jealousy is a learned emotion and usually comes from a fear of loss. I don't believe that jealousy is healthy at all. One can envy someone, sure, but jealousy is often misrepresented as a sign of love... it isn't... its fear of loss, controlling behaviour and mistrust... none of which builds a healthy relationship.
- Luke: Jealousy and envy can be in a lot of situations. Using them as justification for doing crappy things is what is unhealthy.
- David: No. One shouldn't be ashamed of their own emotions, that doesn't necessarily mean the presence of a particular emotion in a relationship is healthy.
- Jordan: No, jealousy is a negative emotion. Acknowledge it, talk about it, then move on. This doesn't mean you can't learn things from jealousy.
- Patrick: Emotions can't be helped, they're part of why we're human. Acting on jealousy is what causes problems.
There were plenty of different responses, but a common theme was that if jealousy bubbled up, that can be okay, but it’s what you do with it that counts.
- DON’T justify being a control freak by calling it jealousy or love.
- DO recognise what your feels are doing and talk to your partner in a way that aims to move beyond jealousy.
- DO remember there are a hell of a lot of healthier ways to show how much someone means than crossing the line into jealousy or fear of losing them.
- DO listen to your intuition and talk to your partner if you are experiencing doubts.
In a healthy relationship both partners should be able to openly communicate about their concerns.
If you find that you're trying to make your partner jealous, it could also be a sign that you're feeling insecure – talking to someone about this might help.
If you feel like you need to talk to someone about how your relationship is making you feel visit kidshelpline.com.au or 1800RESPECT.
